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List Price: $24.95 | | Label: Liberation Ent
Salesrank: 24908
Released: April 28, 2009 |
| Our Price: $12.38 |
| Used Price: $11.24 |
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MPAA Rating: R (Restricted)
Media: DVD |
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Editorial Review:
In a comic homage to Alien and The Thing , the cast and crew of an adult film, stranded in a blizzard, must band together against a mysterious and deadly alien, which has possessed the actor with the biggest part Ron Jeremy (naturally). Now, with the monster on a killing spree, the race is on to trap and destroy it before there are more victims of its peculiar skills.
One-Eyed Monster Reviews:
It is what it is 
2009-10-29 - This movie is great.....as long as you realize that it's a joke. The greatest thing about this movie is that it doesn't take it's self too seriously. I think all "horror" movies are to some degree corny and this one is no exception to that rule. But somehow against all odds for a movie of this type they were able to turn corny into funny. As long as you are amused by penis humor that is. Ron Jeremy's acting is terrible, of course, but it somehow adds to the charm of this movie. So if you want to watch a movie that will in absolutely no way make you a better person or improve your intellect in any way at all (in fact might make you dumber) but want to spend about an hour of your life laughing like a maniac then this is the movie for you.
AN ABSOLUTE STITCH!!! TWISTED!!...WOOOOOOOOONDERFUL!!!! 
2009-07-20 - Okay, so while lying in bed trying to die of an awful, awful cold, I ran across this title on the movie guide and after convulsing into uncontrollable laughter, thought "Naw....it just COULDN'T be about THAT!!!.."
Oh, but it is!!!!!
I saw Ron Jeremy's name and thought "now that name sounds familiar..." Suffice it to say, it is indeed THAT Ron Jeremy, the alltime super porn star of the 70s/80s who was known far and wide for his one-eyed monster.
This is a very clever take on that theme. A porn film crew goes to Northern California to shoot a movie and gets trapped by a blizzard, a "shooting star" (no pun intended) and of course the one-eyed monster that positively terrorizes the entire crew.
Believe it or not, the production values are quite good, elevating this waaay above cheesy. Of course it was sick and twisted but I laughed until I cried. The outstanding performance, hands down, is that of Veronica Hart, an aging porn star who eventually "saves the day." (you will NOT be well for how she does it!!!)
Hate to be so cryptic but if your tastes run the gamut from the absurd to the sublime, this should DEFINITELY be part of your collection. It is quite funny and though it didn't cure my cold, it sure made me forget I had one!!
So bad it's bad 
2009-06-15 - I had to see this because of Amber Benson and for that I don't regret it. She is fascinating. But the rest of the film was not so good. Different but not different enough to overcome the plain rauchiness of the film. I can only give it a two and it would be lower except for Amber.
The One-Eyed Monster Attacks Silicone Valley!!
2009-06-04 - In the tradition of the Japanese "pink" horror film "Sexual Parasite", co-writer/director Adam Fields brings us "One-Eyed Monster", the male `alternative' to the female killer genitalia horror film. The film is a comedic homage to "Alien"; a tribute to horror and porn films. The title pretty much says it all, but surprisingly the film isn't as exploitive as one would expect, it delivers its subtle humor with a straight face and it is not your cheeky comedic horror film.
A small group of porn filmmakers go to an isolated location in the mountains to make a new porn film. Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart (who play themselves) are two aging stars who believe that they have something left in the tank, even in the presence of younger, arguably more desirable stars. Once there, a blizzard strands them in a small cabin and they decide to wait out the storm. Unfortunately, Ron Jeremy comes into a huge problem as his favorite human part literally runs away with itself and starts raping some female stars and murdering the cast. Now it is up to the remaining cast to trap and kill this `one-eyed monster' who is hungry for a good time.
The film's concept is pretty stupid and quite frankly, doesn't really make sense. (But this is why we are watching this aren't we?) A lone d**k running around raping and killing people sounds pretty silly and it is, director Adam Fields does try to make it work by trying to give the film elements of claustrophobia and tension. He tries anyway, as our cast tries to build on the alien-occupied d**k. The film is pretty much your stereotypical "trapped with a monster" movie, but I found it real difficult to connect with the characters. I'm not sure whether I should try to take the film seriously or not, the attempts for suspense do falter and I just couldn't help snickering whenever someone says the word `dick' with such terror. The direction tries an ala-"Jaws" approach, as you don't see the culprit until later (although the script made it perfectly clear that it Ron's growing member). The film has blood and gore, but most of the `d**k' scene kill attacks happen off-camera. I thought maybe the film would have been a lot better if the Japanese or Troma could've undertaken this project. (remember "La Blue Girl" live action and "Killer Condom"?) I'm not sure, I think this film may have been more entertaining if it was more exploitive and more tongue-and-cheek.
I found it rather surprising that for a film with this premise would have so little nudity and sex. While this wouldn't be a bad thing for a horror film, but more nudity and sex may have helped the film. I understand that director Fields may have intended the film for other horror fans, but let's face it, you're making a film about a killer d**k, which is already a silly concept, be silly as much as you can. The acting is pretty `wooden', Ron and Veronica don't act like people, they act like porn stars. I know these two aren't known for their acting skills, but hey, they should at least try. I have to say, the years have been very kind to Veronica Hart--she still looks mighty hot for her age. The supporting cast is pretty decent at times with Charles Napier and Amber Benson (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) in the mix. Napier channels Robert Shaw from "Jaws". Jason Graham plays the tough guy and Caleb Mayo plays the nerdy guy who invents a device called a "neuro-tactile celebrity simulator". (which I thought was pretty funny). The hotties are made up of C-list actresses, Jenny Guy and Carmen Hart (who play Wanda and Angel respectively) and curiously only Angel gets to show her stuff.
The script does have its clever moments and does serve up some funny dialogue. It is tactless enough to draw the audience it is intended for, but it doesn't push away those who happen to just rent this out of curiosity. But it does come short, for a film like this to work, be as tactless and provocative as you can, be shocking as possible so the cult horror fans may just be awed. The kill scenes are pretty mediocre, but it does have some creative moments as with the kill scene with Angel and Veronica`s "C-clamp" (known as the `banana cutter` to some Asian countries)--but it doesn't show the gory details on-screen. How many ways can a d**k kill you? The film misses a lot of opportunities. But thankfully our main antagonist isn't CGI-rendered that gives the film its B-movie charm.
I'm not really sure what to make of this film, it has good intentions but I can feel that the film was held back. It does have decent production values, and it is nicely shot on some scenes. It delivers its premise with a serious tone, while that should be a good thing, but the timing of the humor is a little dry; what ends up is a film a bit confused in its tone--that the viewer may find the film uneven and dull. Adam Field's heart is in the right place, and he does attempt to make the ridiculous become enjoyable. The film will not become a classic, but it is worth a rental to those who like outrageous flicks such as this.
Rental [2 ½ Stars] rounded up for its ambition.
Promising enough, but doesn't deliver
2009-05-31 - One Eyed Monster knows what it is and knows what it is intending to do, but sadly it fails. A horror spoof of involving a porn shoot, and featuring golden age adult film stars Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart as themselves, One Eyed Monster finds the shoot invaded by an alien menace that subsequently takes control of Ron's...well, if there were anything of Ron Jeremy's you would want, what else would it be? While funny to a point, One Eyed Monster mostly falls flat due to the fact that the film makers appear to take themselves a little too seriously. Were the film more delightfully tongue-in-cheek, this could have been much more enjoyable. Not to mention the bombardment of sloppy edits, and some atrocious acting to boot (when Ron Jeremy is your best actor, you know you're in trouble). Former Buffy the Vampire Slayer cast member Amber Benson is on hand as well, and sadly doesn't appear on screen as much as one would hope. genre stalwart Charles Napier is here however, and is quite funny in his brief screen time, especially as he is channeling Robert Shaw's role from Jaws. All in all, One Eyed Monster seemed promising enough, but in the end, there's definitely more horror/comedies worth your time.
