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List Price: $19.94 | | Label: Sony Pictures
Salesrank: 14753
Released: February 3, 2009 |
| Our Price: $6.23 |
| Used Price: $1.33 |
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MPAA Rating: PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Media: DVD |
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Editorial Review:
Megan Valentine was America's sweetheart. But her latest movie is a bomb, and a crooked accountant has left her broke. So she's doing what anyone else would do - joining the Army. Now, there's no star treatment, no stunt doubles and no second takes. But with the help of the other recruits, she'll find the motivation she needs to be all she can be and make it through basic training with style. Also starring Vivica A. Fox, Steve Guttenberg, Olesya Rulin, Cheri Oteri and Jill Marie Jones.
Description of Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous:
The tumbling blond locks and preternaturally white smile of Jessica Simpson brighten up Private Valentine. Megan Valentine (Simpson), the fluffy star of many talking animal movies, discovers her accountant has embezzled all her money and her boyfriend is gay. Thinking it will help her gain control over her life, she blithely signs up for the army--but independent thinking is not exactly what the army has in mind. She and her multi-ethnic platoon-mates bond over midnight chocolate raids, disco dancing, and digging up an embarrassing past secret of her drill sergeant (Vivica A. Fox, not exactly convincing as a hard-as-nails soldier). But will she gain the respect she most craves--her own? Private Valentine is a flimsy retread of Goldie Hawn's classic 1980 comedy Private Benjamin. But despite its many, many flaws--most significantly, after humiliating her platoon repeatedly, Valentine wins them over far too easily--Private Valentine is so puppy-dog eager to please that it's hard to dislike. Simpson cheerfully makes fun of herself and clearly wants to escape her sex-bomb image (the movie puts very little emphasis on her curves). Also featuring Steve Guttenberg, Cheri Oteri, and an actually funny (and all too brief) appearance by Michael Hitchcock (Best In Show, Waiting for Guffman). --Bret Fetzer
Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous Reviews:
I love Jess 
2009-11-07 - I bought this movie because I'm a huge fan of Jessica Simpson. I personally own every movie, perfume, CDs, posters, EVERYTHING! I think it's amazing and I've met her. She is very down to earth, nothing like the media drags her to be. The movie was very good, alot of ditzy moments, but hey, that's a typical blonde. But overall... amazing. Good job Jess!!
Great Buy
2009-11-07 - I've seen better, but it wasn't a "horrible" movie . Jessica is amazing, I adore her. I agree, people took this movie way to seriously. it's a movie to have fun with, it doesn't need an Oscar but it's a good movie just to lay down, relax and enjoy it. I bought in on DVD for $20.00 and we all liked it but we weren't disappointed because we knew it was a movie to have fun with. it's a hilarious movie, but talks a lot about military & beauty at the same time. Jessica looks amazing, and her acting was AMAZING. Overall, good movie, enjoy it! This movie is like a spoiled little brat, like Nicole Richie, going to sign up for the army because the outfits are cute. It a good movie though.
I loved this movie
2009-10-26 - I went movie shopping at WAL-MART and this was one of the movies. I watched this movie, and I actually loved it. it's a nice movie, with good acting and it even took my mom by surprise! My mom was never a Jessica Simpson fan but she liked this movie too. Good thing this movie was only $7.50 cause I would have never spent more on it, then I would've missed out on a good movie. Even if you don't like Jessica Simpson, her acting or even music, you will enjoy it! If your reading this and thinking heck no, I was there, but I got the courage and bought it and fell in love with it. I watch it wall the time. Good job Jessica
Good...realistic 
2009-10-06 - Good film...realistic. Some might be off base, but not entirely unbelievable. Jessica Simpson does a wonderful job with this plot.
"That dress would be perfect if we were premiering a movie called 'Backdoor Blondes." 
2009-09-20 - I'm betting your liking this film may hinge partly on where you stand on the whole Jessica Simpson thing. Do you love her, loathe her, don't give a dang about her? Me, I don't think much of her singing and I'm leaning towards tepid when it comes to her acting skills. But I think it's beyond debate that she's a straight-up stunner, and my feeling is that she's kind of gotten a bum rap from the press and paparazzi. Acting career-wise, I'm not sure that Jessica Simpson will ever star in a critically acclaimed picture, her best movie so far being Employee of the Month (Widescreen Edition). But that doesn't mean that her cinematic stuff isn't worth checking out. So, yes, I saw PRIVATE VALENTINE: BLONDE & DANGEROUS, and I survived it. Fact is, I even liked it.
Jessica Simpson, minutes into the movie, eventually got on my good side, and she eventually wore down my skepticism. She plays down-and-out actress Megan Valentine whose latest flick has her co-starring with a talking dog. Megan Valentine is sunny and oozes that Hollywood sense of entitlement and, well, let's just call her naive. Her entourage doesn't really like her, her cousin emptied her bank account, and her boyfriend has a boyfriend. So a fit of boozy despondency later, and Megan, looking to make a drastic change, ends up enlisting in the U.S. Army.
You can suss out the developing shenanigans in boot camp. It's pretty much what happens when a Hollywood diva clashes with the military's proud, rigid traditions and long history of structured abuse. The material won't knock your socks off, the jokes are stale, and you might sprain your eyeballs rolling them so much. But what I wasn't expecting was just how appealing Jessica Simpson could be in this role. Underneath the predictable spoiled airhead princess act, there's a core of vulnerability, and it's this element which made me sort of buy into Valentine's journey from superficial and pampered to Army strong and squared away (but still an airhead). Simpson doesn't get points for being a nuanced comedienne here. She gets by on sheer likability and, okay, on her bodacious curves (what can I say, I'm a guy).
We're not treading on comedic gold here. PRIVATE VALENTINE doesn't come close to being as good as PRIVATE BENJAMIN or Stripes (Unrated Extended Cut). You look at a scene like the one with the girls romancing their chocolate bars or Simpson's character demanding for her stunt double when ordered to do exercise drills, and you get an idea of the sort of yucks typified here. Again, Simpson muddles thru on the strength of her appeal.
But her surprisingly decent supporting cast has her back. Vivica A. Fox marches in as the tough drill sergeant with the embarrassing past, and Cheri Oteri steals scenes as the gung-ho re-enlistee. But it's her fellow Army recruits - nicely acted by Aimee Garcia, Jill Marie Jones, and Olesya Rulin - who help to shape Valentine's growth. And it's always nice whenever there's a Steve Guttenberg sighting, if only to let us know that the guy's still alive.
It's hard to overlook the commonality between Megan Valentine and Jessica Simpson herself. Both persons tend to be not taken seriously; their work is considered fluff. In the end, Valentine actually comes off better, because she's in a movie and that allows her closure and a definitive happy ever after. In the end, Private Valentine has done her soul searching and taken steps to take control of her life and her career. In real life, things aren't so clear cut, clarity comes and goes. I guess I'm saying, Jessica Simpson deserves a break or two. Although, part of the equation is that she also needs to make her own breaks. I'm thinking, she ought to try to expand the types of acting parts she gets. "Ditzy" can't be her only preferred niche, can it?
The DVD bonus features suck. There are two very brief deleted scenes that are absolute time wasters: Vivica A. Fox's 1st Sergeant Morely cursing (but bleeped) at paparazzi & the fat paparazzi kid talking smack in his office. The 9-minute Making Of featurette has a fun factor in that the cast talks about how gross it was with the icky swamp and the fear of chiggers and how even scarfing down chocolate bars can get old really quick (re: spit buckets). And that's it for bonus features.
PRIVATE VALENTINE: BLONDE & DANGEROUS (a.k.a. MAJOR MOVIE STAR) is fluff but, unlike Simpson's earlier effort -the soul-killing BLONDE AMBITION - this one is watchable fluff, and I'm recommending it. Plus, who knew having past experience as a pole dancing stripper qualifies as a skill asset in the U.S. Army?
