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List Price: $9.98 | | Label: Lions Gate
Salesrank: 38223
Released: October 19, 1999 |
| Our Price: $5.37 |
| Used Price: $2.22 |
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MPAA Rating: R (Restricted)
Media: DVD |
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Editorial Review:
Studio: Lions Gate Home Ent. Release Date: 08/12/2003
Description of Modern Vampires:
The subversive, super-hip television show Buffy, the Vampire Slayer has changed the bloodsucking genre forever. Hilariously campy and self-aware, the show cleverly sends up every exhausted convention the vampire genre has to offer. It was only a matter of time before someone tried translating the same tone to the big screen (the Buffy film failed miserably before becoming a show). As written by Matthew Bright (Freeway) and directed by Richard Elfman (Forbidden Zone), the silly and seditious Modern Vampires tries a similar tongue-in-cheek approach, flipping the focus instead to the vampires. Sure, it's shameless, it's cheesy, but it's also much more entertaining than, say, the heavy-handed Blade. The filmmakers set the genre piece in Los Angeles, a city cynical and violent enough to allow vampires to roam without much notice. The Hollywood lifestyle has influenced these vampires, though, as they stage elaborate parties where nude humans are kept in cages and carted out for main courses ("Is he Italian? I was wanting Italian tonight!"), as well as feast on the likes of screenwriters, producers, and entertainment lawyers (talk about bloodsuckers). In terms of plot, not much is going on here. A very serious and driven Dr. Frederick Van Helsing (Rod Steiger) arrives in L.A., from Germany, in search of Dallas (Casper Van Dien of Starship Troopers), a vampire who turned his son 20 years ago. Needing a partner, Van Helsing puts out an ad and picks up a Crips gangster member named Time Bomb (Gabriel Casseus), creating perhaps the goofiest vampire-hunting tag team in film history. "Do you believe in vampires?" Van Helsing first asks his young partner. "As long as you're writing the checks, I'll take out anyone," he replies. Steiger is wonderfully over the top (think Donald Pleasance in any of the Halloween sequels), and Elfman fills his vampire cast with other notable charismatic character actors, including Kim Cattrall (Sex and the City), Natasha Gregson Wagner (humorous as a trailer-trash vamp), and Udo Kier. Straight to video doesn't get much better than this. --Dave McCoy
Modern Vampires Reviews:
Complete waste of time! 
2008-11-01 - What where these people thinking? I can't believe they even made this movie! From the silly opening scene where the main vampire is driving and admiring his fangs in the rearview mirror, to him brushing and filing (FILING!) his fangs in the morning, to the silly accents everybody had, to the lisps that proved the actors couldn't master talking with fangs (or was it intentional?) - this movie is just plain stupid. All of the actors in this movie (bear in mind this movie was filmed 9 years ago) must be ashamed of being in it, of that I am sure!
Everything is so over the top it's just stupid. The plot is a mess, the characters are laughable, and please don't remind me of those incredibly cheesy accents! The acting is so bad it's actually painful in some scenes. The wild cat sounds when some of the vampires attack? And the whole "gangbanger/crip" theme, turning the whole thing into a "white vampires vs. black vampires" sort of deal? I just don't see the logic. It's all just incredibly stupid to me.
Is this movie supposed to be a spoof, a satire? I honestly can't tell, and the description doesn't specify that (if it had I wouldn't have rented it). I like my vampire movies with substance and logic. This movie tries to be so many things it's none of the above. Don't waste your time. It's just dumb.
if you like trash, you gotta love it... 
2008-08-10 - Well, now... this movie is not what you'd call a masterpiece. I once saw it some years ago in german language. As the tape was from our local video rental station, the quality was not exactly great. I enjoyed the movie immensly - it IS trash (despite some realy great actors), but I do like trash.
When I noticed there was a DVD available I couldn't resist in buying. It had something about a "Special Director's Cut" ananounced, but I hat to realise there was nothing new in this version. Maybe the german tape was from the directors cut, too.
The Quality is allrigth - some classes better than the old rental tape. the picture is clear, the sound is well. There are some nice features - the trailer, biographies to the main actors (you get a lot informations about them with this DVD), a commentary (which I haven't tried yet) and a interesting, partly funny Behind-The-Scenes-Featurette. The sound on the last mentioned is not so great, but as it is only a feature I think it's OK.
If you like trashy vampire-movies with real modern vampires you should definitivly check this DVD out - it's not exactly expensive, and you got a very nice version of the movie!
Campy fun
2007-07-08 - Dracula is in modern day Los Angeles and is trying to control all the vampires living in the city. Campy fun with not much of a plot. It's funny to listen to the actors try to talk with their fake vampire fangs on. They all come across as lispy and ridiculous, although I'm not sure that was the intention. Good for a laugh.
Awesome! 
2007-03-09 - This movie is absolutely hilarious! It's fun the whole way through! I make all my friends watch it. It's just a lot of fun.
Warhol-esque - - Not for the tasteful, but has some good comedy
2006-10-22 - The first half was hilarious, and then went downhill. It is sort of a vampire soap opera, with shezbot for action and plenty of totally tasteless humor that I hated, strangely interspersed with some droll humor, which I REALLY enjoyed. Tell you what. If you like bad horror, you may well enjoy this. I did. If you enjoyed playing VTMB or Bloodrayne (games) you may enjoy this flick. I laughed my tookus off for the first half or so. If you are hoping for a good serious vampire movie, forget it. But I enjoyed this more than most serious vampire movies. I recommend Sean of The Dead over this as a similar parody of the genre, but as a foray into "bad," this flick has its moments. Actually, playing VTMB is much better, and a more immersive experience of vampirism as a "life" style.
As a minor note, this film displays the beauty of Kim Cattrall only too well, and she is clearly as beautiful as her mother ever was. I hope she finds a few films to show her good looks a little more tastefully, but there it is, she is absolutely stunning in this shaggy dog of a movie.
