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List Price: $26.99 | | Label: Uwe Boll Productions
Salesrank: 67578
Released: May 23, 2006 |
| Our Price: $6.49 |
| Used Price: $0.81 |
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MPAA Rating: R (Restricted)
Media: DVD |
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Editorial Review:
BloodRayne is the action-packed film in the vein of Elektra and stars an incredible all star cast including Kristanna Loken Ben Kingsley Michelle Rodriquez Billy Zane Michael Madsen and Meat Loaf. This comic book super-hero battles to save humanity from the dawn of an advancing vampire army. Features terrific action scenes and special effects. System Requirements:Running Time 94 Mins.Format: DVD MOVIE Genre: ACTION/ADVENTURE Rating: R UPC: 855280001373 Manufacturer No: UB0137DVD
BloodRayne Reviews:
All I can say is WOW!!!! 
2008-07-13 - The acting and plot are bad, but what really makes this film bad is one of the worst fight choreographing i have ever seen. The actors look like this is the first time have ever held a sword, and they hold back on their swings so as to not hurt the other actors - which looks totally fake. Some scenes the actors swing the swords and the person they are fighting is not ever on the screen, adn after they swing, they cut to a new camera angle with the swords alredy touching, and just add in the sound effect. And as for the arrows, I don't recall seeing any in flight. Draw the bow(but don't release), and then a new camera angle with the arrow already sticking out of the enemy wiht a sound effect of the impact. There is no excuse that in an action movie like this that the fight scenes are this bad.
So Fast... 
2008-07-08 - I was submitting my order and 3 days later I was receiving my items, it doesn't matter that it was set as an International shipping.
Thnx a lot.
It has potential but it's poorly executed. 
2008-06-08 - It has potential but it's poorly executed. There are some beautiful scenes that put me in the mood. The worst thing is the fighting scenes. They are slow and look completely fake. They should have hired a good stunt woman in place of the main female character.
German gore
2008-06-06 - This is definitely one of the worst vampire films, and worst video adaptation I've ever seen.
Way too gory. Lots of scenes that shouldn't have been shown, and I actually mean useless scenes that did not need be shot.
Badly acted, badly directed.
And the costumes??? how inaccurate can they be. As if women in that time period were showing off their bellies. Please!
Much too much lighting for the time period as well.
Pure crap.
This must have been meant as a comedy, not a horror picture. Nothing scared me in the film.
Abandon all hope
2008-05-16 - Dante Aligheri's masterpiece, The Divine Comedy, warns of a circle of Hell in which the damned are forced to stand up to their chins in a river of excrement. After sitting through Bloodrayne, you'll know exactly how those poor souls feel. And will want to shower, immediately.
This waste of celluloid is based on a video game and centers around Rayne, a dhampir, (half human-half vampire) who is out to destroy Kagan, her vampire daddy dearest, who had raped her mortal mother, then killed her several years later when he realized he'd sired a child. Whatever. (I wish someone had gotten their hands on the negative and thrown it off a "damn pier" before it could be printed).
It seems Kagan is looking for three relics of a once powerful vampire that are hidden throughout the country; possessing them will make him an über vampire, apparently. Rayne discovers this (don't ask) and goes on a quest to retrieve them first. There's also some anti-vampire crusaders hot on her tail, er trail. A sample of some of the truly ridiculous scenes:
After breaking free of the circus she's imprisoned in as a sideshow freak, attacking anyone in her path, we're treated to Rayne collapsing in a field, wheezing, whining and caterwauling. I suppose the anguished vocalizations are supposed to make us feel the torment of her plight, but it's a little difficult, as she sounds exactly like a laughing hyena, beset with a nasty case of the croup, in the middle of whelping a litter of pups. The next morning, Sebastian and Vladimir, two intrepid vampire hunters, come across the circus. I find it a little strange that none of the circus people bothered to attend to their fallen comrades, not to mention, do nothing to prevent the strangers from killing one of the still alive victims, or decapitate and cremate those already dead. But then, it's best to check your logic at the door on this one.
Later, Rayne stops at a monastery, asking for food and shelter for the night, but it's a ruse; one of the artifacts is hidden there. After a meal and bedding down for the night, our heroine gets up and skulks about the compound to find the relic. She's seen entering the not-so-secret chamber said relic is hidden in by the head monk, from a gallery across the courtyard. Naturally, he's alarmed and takes off (presumably to stop her). She enters the chamber, dispatches the ogre like sentinel (who's sleeping on the job, no less) and grabs the key to yet another secret room. After craftily and acrobatically overcoming the badly CGI'ed booby trap obstacles in her path, she gets the eye (yes, the artifact is a dried up eyeball) it mystically gets sucked into her and, whoa!, she becomes more powerful!
The funniest thing in this segment is wondering why in the hell it takes the monks so long to catch up with her. My guess, the head monk (played by cult icon Udo Kier, looking oh-so-dapper in a monk's tunic fashioned out of a burlap sack) got sidetracked along with the other monk actors at the crafts services table for a belt of bourbon and a cigarette with the crew. Anyway, they catch up to her, Brother Kier explains to her about the other body parts (doing his best impression of Conrad Veidt's somnambulist from The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, that is to say, he sleepwalks through the part) when Kagan's minions arrive and a slaughter begins. Second funniest part; a baddie grabs Kier by the shoulder and the two proceed to simply stand there, watching the others slice and dice each other. You can almost hear Kier's thoughts; "Okay, I put in my day of work, am I done here?" Uh, no, not quite, because the filmmaker really needs to add another thirty seconds to your two minutes of existing screen time. Eventually, another bad guy comes up to him, asks him a question about the eye, gets treated to Udo's impersonation of The Who's mute pinball wizard, Tommy, then stabs him. Okay, now you can collect your paycheck and grab the first flight out of town.
Meat Loaf, looking very much like his moniker and a huge side of butter drenched mashed potatoes, plays another vampire, whose palace doubles as some sort of seedy pleasure tavern, where humans are chained up and bled for cocktails, while other vampires get their freak on. One of Kagan's human lackeys brings Rayne there because it's daylight. Sporting a long, pompadour topped, dingy ivory wig suited for the court of Louis XV, as well as the occasional effete mannerism, Mr. Loaf thinks Rayne is pretty sexy. Oh, and he wants the eye she's absorbed. The good guys bust in, fight with (not so) Little Lord Fauntleroy along with one or two other vampires (while about two dozen others sit and watch, huh?) Meat Loaf is overbaked by UV rays and Rayne is rescued. Cause she's a good guy.
Although the cameos by Kier and Mr. Loaf are (for them) mercifully short, the burning question is how in God's name did Ben Kingsley get attached to this project? Yeah, that Ben Kingsley. The guy who won an Oscar for playing Gandhi, the actor who played Stern in Schindler's List. I hope he fired his agent, because he's not relegated to just a two minute cameo; he's a supporting player, Rayne's father, Kagan. While Kier and Loaf were able to obliterate the experience through the excessive consumption of airline provided scotch on the flight back home, Sir Ben was still stuck in this nightmare. Oh, the humanity.
I can't even tell you how this thing ended, other than some major battle and Rayne being the sole survivor. Watching just half of this made my brain bleed. Uwe Böll is truly a crapmeister extraordinaire. I'd long read about Böll's complete lack of skill behind the camera, but never witnessed it. How I wish I never had.
