Rhona Mitra Movie:

				Salesrank:
		MPAA Rating: R (Restricted) Media: DVD

Editorial Review:
Beowulf translates the ancient epic poem of the same name into a postapocalyptic Road Warrior-style future, in which a military outpost is being invaded by a monstrous, blood-thirsty creature. Drawn hither by the evil emanations comes Beowulf (Christopher Lambert from Subway and the Highlander series), a powerful warrior with dark secrets of his own. There he meets the beautiful Kyra (Rhona Mitra), a woman warrior with a couple of cleavage-revealing outfits. Her father Hrothgar, meanwhile, is haunted by dreams of a blond, seminaked succubus with crimped hair, who has some mysterious connection to the murdering monster. Everyone, even father and daughter, has a different accent. It's all pretty trashy--the script is full of bravura lines like, "The only thing that keeps me from becoming evil is fighting evil"--but the cinematography and special effects are capable, there are lots of cool-looking swords and weaponry, and there's some pleasantly cheesy techno-metal music that plays intermittently for no good reason. Christopher Lambert, with white hair and a full-length leather duster, looks a little bored, but he's still his competent brooding action-hero self. If you enjoyed Mortal Kombat, this is right up your alley. --Bret Fetzer

Beowulf [Region 2] Reviews:
Typical Lambert movie
2009-10-10 - This movie gets 4 stars only because of the inclusion of Rhona Mirta, one of the hottest woman alive! Otherwise, this movie would get 2 stars. This movie is basically a recasting of the tale "Beowulf" in some kind of weird, crappy future that's regressed into the past. Crazy, industrial looking structures abound, hampered by what was obviously a low, low budget. Mirta, you deserve so much more! Some of the sword fighting scenes are entertaining, and as Lambert provides his typical B-movie acting. Most of the time, I rooted for Grendel to kill everyone, the more quickly the better.

good service
2009-06-09 - recieved merchandise on time. excellent condition. will do business with them again.shipping was on spot.

There are generations of poem-singers spinning in their graves.
2009-03-30 - Beowulf (Graham Baker, 1999)

The best thing I can say about the tragedy that is Graham Baker's "update" of Beowulf is that the first interminable fight scene uses, as its background music, Prodigy's remix of Front 242's "Religion", which was the best work that either Front 242 or Prodigy ever did. Of course, if you recognize the names Front 242 and Prodigy, you're probably wondering why either would be on the soundtrack of a movie set in the eighth century. Now you know where Brian Helgeland got at least one idea for (the not much better) A Knight's Tale.

In case you've somehow missed it for the past twelve hundred years, the plot has to do with Beowulf (in this case, played by Highlander's Christopher Lambert) coming to the aid of Hrothgar (Raindogs' Oliver Cotton) against the monster Grendel (veteran creature performer Vincent Hammond and a lot of CGI that's actually pretty decent). That, however, is where the similarity to the epic poem ends. The most striking departure, unless you're a geek like me, is the addition of Hrothgar's beautiful daughter Kyra (Doomsday's Rhona Mitra) and the inevitable love-theme subplot, this one treated as a triangle between Kyra, Beowulf, and the captain of Hrothgar's guard (Der Untergang's Götz Otto). Also, the farther along we get, the more ridiculous (to the geeks) the plot departures get. Suffice to say Beowulf is no longer King of the Geats, but he may have another throne waiting for him...

It's everything you'd expect from a Christopher Lambert movie; the acting is atrocious, the action scenes are overwrought, the script is ridiculous. Rhona Mitra is always a welcome addition to any bad movie, but there's only so much staring one can do (and she's not always onscreen). Do yourself a favor and steer far clear of this monstrosity. (half)



It's getting dark, too dark to see
2009-03-23 - I have to admit to being a fan of Christopher Lambert although I cannot say that for a lot of his movies, including this one.

Loosley base, to say the least, on the epic poem of Beowulf, this is a sort of fantasy sci-fi, having more to do with sword and sorcery novels than literature.

Blood, yes there will be blood, and sex thrown in for good measure, along with mysteriously supplied gas and electricity, and predator style effects for the monster.

Despite all of that, it is compelling viewing, although I tired of all of Lambert's acrobatics which were OK once but not repeated.

The science fiction channel exercised their rights to add a little censureship but not too much. Stupid dialogue with many accents did not detract too much and the special effects on the outpost were just silly.

Lots, of blood, lots of action, and Christopher Lambert had the hero winning in the end and riding off into the sunset with the girl. As I said, compelling viewing but not the greatest film ever by a long chalk.

Worst Beowulf movie ever.
2008-08-09 - I've seen every movie versian of Beowulf that I know of and this is the only one yet that disapointed me. Setting, casting, custumes, props, soundtrack(WTF!), dialogue and the very story itself were all garbage. It seems as though every character in the story has a differnt accent with no effort put in whatsoever to make it seen like they didn't all come right off the boardwalks of California. Don't bother with this one.